Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
