come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
