god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
