you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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