I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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