on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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