Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
