No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The feeling are messing with the penis
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
