He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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