He is such a slut. More and more my type.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
