we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we made out on top of his cat.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
