WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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