its not stalking. its research.
so let's talk penis.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
