Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
