Can Purell be used as lube?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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