he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
