This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
