Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
