here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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