So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
