Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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