we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
