Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
