Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
