i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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