Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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