He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
