Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
