Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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