Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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