ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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