oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
