i permit you to call me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
