I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
