Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
