Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
