U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
