He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
