I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
