I CAN MOONWALK!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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