i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
