the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
