did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
