I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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