You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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