I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
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