Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
