Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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