ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
