Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
