Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
