My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
