Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
